Ringo is missing

Ringo didn't come home for dinner. So that means that maybe he found dinner on the go, or maybe he is injured and can't get home. I don't know, either way, I'm worried about him. Did he get into something? There's nothing I can do but worry. I last saw him about noon as he blazed by the back door then around the front. Nothing to worry about there. Should have come when I shook the asprin bottle. He must be in trouble. He always comes for food.

The Curve of Time

The second book of the year is "The Curve of Time" by M. Wylie Blanchet. It is a story of a mother and her 5 children who power their small boat, the Caprice, up the inlets and bays of Georgia Strait, British Columbia. The story is told first person by the mother, a widow. It does not tell how the husband died or when, or even the ages of the children. Other than a few descriptions of adventures with bears and meeting people who live in the outermost woods, there is not much depth to the story. She doesn't even give all the names of the children, at least I could not find them. I could only find 3 names. The story lacks passion and emotion, the reader sees that the little family enjoys the trips, but tells us nothing of the reasons why they did the sailing trips summer after summer. The story is set in the 50's, I think. But again, not really any detail to go on. The story tells of exploring Haida villages, but carefully omits any description of the places so that others cannot find these hidden gems. I was really hoping to enjoy this book, but it read very flatly and I was not drawn into it, even though I have been through the places she has travelled and should have been able to reminise about them through this book. I'm sure there are better stories about sailing through the Inside Passage, I intend to find them.

Off the Bookshelf

From this day forward, I will blog about each book that I take from my overfilled bookshelves and read. These are books that have been waiting to be read for years, many years. It's time that I start taking a good look at the books I've chosen, read them and give them some thought. It's going to be a great journey through my bookshelves. Then, if I like the book, I will decide whether to keep it or sell it back to a bookstore. Occassionally, I may pick up a book from the library, and if so, I'll add it to this blog. This blog will give me a reason to get through my bookshelf and maybe read a few good books along the way.

So the first book is "The Book of Yaak," By Rick Bass. It was a great way to begin this project. From the first line, I was drawn to his images of the woods of Montana, and the creatures who live there. The book gave a voice to the forest that was about to be logged. Later, Bass states that one valley was saved, but the rest were goners. I would like to visit this Yaak Valley, this place seperated from the world outside, the world that is trying to extinguish it. This book has affirmed the fact that a little relentlessness can be a very important thing to have in this world. Where would we be with out people who are relentlessly fighting for what they believe in, for those are the people with passion. Those are the people who can add something to the world and enrich lives. I am proud to be one of those people. I want to be relentless like Bass, like all the other Basses in the world. I may not fight for a forest, but I can fight for streams. So the Yaak, a great story in a great place and a book that will stay on my shelf. Yaak, save the woods, save the creatures, save what should not be squandered and spent. The problem is that there a whole section of the population, decision makers, who don't care about saving woods, who just want what they can get from it. I met one of these folks recently and have been trying to avoid him since. A few weeks ago, he became unavoidable, picked a fight with me and then acted like it was all my fault. He could not see the value of the stream and until the stream is no longer, he will not rest. He has thumped me off the site, he thinks he has found an easier target, but he will not get around, he will not get what he wants. Greed never wins. They didn't win in the Yaak, even if they got all the trees, they only got a short term win. Their greed will be the end of them. I can't wait to read about the Yaak again.

Relentless

Today my boss handed me a letter that was intercepted before reaching the big boss. In it was a fabrication of a site visit in which I used one profane word in the following sentence "That's F---ing unfair." This sentence was used after I was harrassed, threatened and insulted by a man who dislikes having a woman in a place of authority. He insulted me personally. It's been the same everytime I met with him, he always trying to put me down and undo me, insult me or my expertise. He was always looking for a fight and that day, he got one. He is an evil person, a person who wants to control women, a man with a bad case of little man syndrome. The only way the episode would have been avoided was to have brought someone with me. The intercepted letter was full of lies and with the exception of the profane word, I did nothing wrong. I stood my ground because I had to. Is it my fault that some men can't respect women? Why is this my problem? Why do I have a letter written about me, when the problem was his? It was like I was set up to go out there and look at a stream, getting set up to have this guy under my skin, then to threaten to go over my head and work with my boss, exactly what I told him he was welcome to do. The letter is his having a say, a last word. Like that proves that he is right. The letter took 2 weeks to write and not a word of it was true. So, then my boss says that I'm relentless. At first that may sound like an insult and maybe he was just trying to politely tell me that I should back down, but honestly, smart women do not back down. Smart women take chances and tell the truth, even if others can't bear to hearit. There are those who respect my guts and determination and passion. Then there are those that would like to me go away. Sorry to the second group, sorry to the weaklings who can't stick up for themselves, I'm not like you. I say what needs to be said, I don't quiver behind whispers and tell lies to people's faces. I sit up and tell it like it is. I am proud to be relentless, when it matters. I will always be relentless when it matters. I will always stand my ground, show my passion and stick up for myself. No one gets to shove me around with manipulation and lies. Thank goodness I never have to work that man again. I don't have to take that abuse from anyone. He's a piddly engineer who thinks he owns the world. I wish he would go away. But he won't. He's just one of those people that now I get to avoid for the rest of my life. I honesty don't think I did anything wrong. It was just a site visit, it was just a discussion. There was no confrontation, no unwillingness. He wanted to push my around, I wouldn't let him. He got mad and wrote a nasty letter. So what. I hope he feels better now that he got the last word. Well, not really. I got the last word, right here. Ha.

Yeah, Christmas is over

What a relief. I don't have to worry about celebrating this non-holiday for another 365 days. Sadly, it's become such a mish mash of everything that is nothing at all. A dark hole on the calendar where peace, love and joy are supposed to reign and overcome all, but such high expectations are headed for failure. Big time.

The birth of Christ, now that's something. But it has all been washed away in the end of the year buying frenzy. If only all we celebrated was the birth of Christ in a manger in the Middle East. If only there really were three wisemen led by a bright star in the sky to a barn of animals. If only. But like everything else, it is too good to be true. And yet the myth lives on.

I think a better way to celebrate the birth of Christ is to spread it out over the year, like pieces of bread on a trail so that others can find you. The hype, the anticipation, the letdown. If what we are supposed to do is show others love, why do we expect to cram it all in one day? Wouldn't it be better to give occassional gentle reminders? I hope that's what my life is an example of, the goodness of the moment.

Yesterday, and every day that I go home my dad has selected a book for me. Many gifts of books over the year, many little times that he thinks of me, and acts on it without any expection that I will return the gift. That's Christmas. The unexpected, the thoughtful, the meaningful gestures. Anything that is expected is not a gift. This year, I sent money to Everett Gospel Mission, a book to Tom and Laura, a magazine subscription to Amy and a jar of precious apricot jam to my neighbor Stacia. Small tokens of appreciation and grace expecting nothing in return.

Thankfully, now I can begin to enjoy the winter, the cold, the quiet, the peaceful days. The weight of Christmas farce has been lifted. Two little doggies wait patiently by the door. Their thick coats keep them warm in the 30 degree weather. The anticipate that any moment will be the moment that I open the door. I like to see them getting along, sitting inches apart, with the same thought on their minds, "can I come in?" There's nothing for them inside. Outside is a yard full of wonder and amusement. Luna doesn't think so. A warm house means everything to her. Carly is happy to absorb the sun's winter rays while doing her best yoga pose. Outside is the best place for a dog to be.

Plants are my weakness

Today I spent $65 on plants.

Yep, I really needed a new pair of hiking boots, but I didn't even blink as I wrote the check for the plants, thinking about all the pleasure I'll have planting them and watching them grow. I surrender to this weakness because I'm writing a check to a non-profit group, whose volunteer efforts drive the propagation and sale of the plants. It's a very worthy group to support and I do with at least $200 per year.

Next month, the group is offering a propogation class to teach techniques on collecting seeds and proprogating cuttings; both things I already do, but want to do better. Granted, many of the plants won't make it, the seeds may not germinate, the plants may get eaten by slugs (so that's where all my purple coneflower went) and I may accidently kill the rest. No matter. I will still buy plants. My hiking shoes will rip and tear and become completely useless and embarrassing to wear, but at least I will have plants growing, blooming and supporting our fragile ecosystem for years to come. I will delight in a yard surrounded by hundreds of plants and the little critters that depend on them for survival. I don't really need a new pair of hiking shoes, they all wear out and become useless. Plants are never useless. They always serve a vital, valuable purpose to my life

People will comment

Lately, there's been a lot of commenting in my life. Three weeks ago, I made an off hand comment to a neighbor about her unattractive yard waste pile that I can view from my back yard because her yard is higher (see picture). When I arrived home later that evening, I was surprised to have a long-winded message from her stating how much my comment had offended her. OMG. I drove to work that morning pissed off at her ignorance for not caring about my having to look at a pile of weeds. In her diatribe, she declared that all the neighbors think my yard is a pile of weeds. Well, that's native habitat for you.

My yard is an assortment of native plants and trees that were put there to be used by wildlife. Her yard is an assortment of bushes and trees sculpted beyond necessity to resemble bottle brushes. Her pruning should be illegal. More like hacking away at branches until the trees no longer resemble living things. Needless to say, we are not speaking. I don't mind really. No more playing nice-nice with her. We had little in common anyway. I'm content to keep to myself.

As ridiculous as this incident has been, I've noticed that people make all sorts of comments to one another, few are meant to do harm or hurt, but it's just people speaking honestly, saying what they are thinking. People should be allowed and encouraged to say what they feel. I'm allowed to say what I did, as well as she's allowed to reply. Maybe if she had said it to me, instead of my answering machine, I could at least have said I didn't mean in the way she took it. I think back to loads of comments I've made, inadvertent and in conversation, that if taken the wrong way, may have hurt someone. But it wasn't intentional. And I needn't apologize for something that was not meant to hurt. A thick skin and a good self image could go a long way in reducing bitterness between people.

Last week, I told a couple girls in yoga that either the studio is a quiet room and if they wanted to chatter, they could go to the hall. The were set to spend 10 minutes before class chatting it up in front of the mirror. There are signs requiring silence in the yoga room. Then today, I was asked to move my mat over to make room. But I had placed my mat exactly between two other mats, following the rules. The person who asked is a local rock star (big in his own mind) and even though he could have moved his mat over, he chose to comand me to do it. I refused, saying I didn't want to be behind another person. He said "Well, if you say so," and went back to his mat.

I hate that all of these incidents happened and wonder could have been done differently. The most important thing is not to make a big deal of it, and to move on with life. The fact is, life is precarious, it's always shifting and one never knows what kind of day another is having. So, we just have to go with it, calmly, patiently, lovingly.