Hibernating

I wonder why I have felt the need to hibernate and isolate myself from the world for the last two days. I really don't miss the world, it will be there tomorrow. But I have not spoken to another soul for two days, except of course to scold my roommates for their various household misdemeanors such as eating cat poo.

For the last two days, I have left the house only to take out the compost, recycling and retrieve the mail. The radio has been on continously for two days, switching between the local volunteer station, KSER, and NPR. I got out of bed around 7 am both days, took a shower and sat down at the computer to see if anything interesting was happening. It wasn't. Facebook was as boring as usual, but it does lead me on an internet trail of vintage trailers and a gingerbread recipe, which helped to pass the morning. The gingerbread was spectacular, and while I should share it, I probably won't.

My obsession with vintage trailers often leads me to website where ladies have posted photo essays of trailer restoration. I love these. I don't love the one done by Mormoms who profess undying love for the Lord, but never Jesus, and their cadre of exceedingly, unnaturally happy and perfect families. Are these women just keeping a blog because they have nothing better to do, now that they did their job of raising a perfect family. Spare me. I do love looking at the trailers and the process of getting them road worthy. I wonder if I will have an opportunity to upgrade to one of these precious Shastas.

For now, all I want is my Boler, and to keep her rolling on the road, heading east. Being here in the west, means that direction is fairly limited. All point northeast and southeast are what interest me. So after gingerbread, trailer surfing got tiring, I curled up in bed with a magazine. I kept asking myself I wanted to go for a walk. Did I want to go the beach? Did I want to go to the crows roost? I could go to the store. Nah. Instead I took a nap. Just before darkness, I walked to the mailbox. Then I feed my roommates. Then I thought about dinner. I know I need to fill out a job application, a foster application and do my monthly budget. But not yet. Maybe I'll just read a little more.

The thing about hibernation is that it forces me to calm down, slow down, do nothing. Even when my mind is nagging me to go, go, go somewhere. I ignore it. I sit. Still. I ponder. I wonder. I contemplate. And the day passes. It's not like time has stopped because I have. Time is moving. It's me that is not. At the end of it, I'm relaxed, ready to head out to the world. Or at least to a little bit of it.